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"It seems like the incentive to have sex would be high in a society that sacrifices virgins."
- Charles, ever the philosopher
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"Don't blame yourself - you probably just had a shitty teacher."
- Pibb, consoling Hillary after she busted out of her first poker game (I was her shitty teacher)
Dave: "Any advice for dealing with a negative child?"
Rob: "No."
Dave: "Well, thanks for your wisdom."
"What exactly do you need to take into the shower?"
- Michael (16). I was telling him how, when you live in the dorms in college, you need a shower caddy to transport all of your toiletries back and forth to the bathroom. As a boy of 16, he couldn't fathom what you'd possibly need to bring into the shower other than soap.