Best Actor
Johnny Depp in Finding Neverland. Even though I thought Finding Neverland was lame and that Clint Eastwood did a way better job in Million Dollar Baby, Johnny is hot. Hot always deserves to win.
Best Supporting Actor
Morgan Freeman in Million Dollar Baby. I didn't see the Aviator, Collateral, or Closer (and don't intend to, the previews look horrible) so it was only between Thomas Haden Church and Morgan Freeman. In Sideways I saw Church's naked, saggy ass and it sicked me out. Freeman kept all his clothes on. So he wins.
Best Actress
Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Again, there were three movies in this category that I didn't see - Being Julia (boring), Maria Full of Grace, and Vera Drake (boring) - so it was just a toss up between Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby and Winslet. So it comes down to performance. I think anyone could pull off Swank's southern white trash accent. But Kate Winslet is English and she did an American accent. She wins.
Best Supporting Actress
Natalie Portman in Closer. Okay, so here's the thing. I didn't see Closer, nor did I see four of the other five films nominated - only Sideways. A logical person would assume my vote would go to Virginia Madsen. But I'm not logical. I LOVED Garden State. I'm upset it wasn't nominated for anything (it should have at least been given a nod in original screenplay - I love you forever Zach Braff). Natalie Portman was so super cute in Garden State and totally pulled off the Julie Fass Herckis-esq Jersey girl thing. So even though I have no idea how she performed in Closer, let's give her an Oscar.
Animated Feature Film
The Incredibles. When the wife checked out what her butt looked like in her new superhero outfit, I was sold.
Cinematography
House of Flying Daggers, hands down. Of course, the Passion of the Christ is nominated and it might just be worth it to see Mel Gibson get up there and thank both Jesus and his anti-Semitic father in his acceptance speech.
Directing
Million Dollar Baby. Come on - it's Clint Eastwood!
Documentary Feature
Tupac: Resurrection. I never saw the film, but I was born and raised in Hayward. Tupac is sorta like Elvis to my people.
Art Direction, Documentary Short Subject, Costume Design, Film Editing, Foreign Language Film, Makeup, Music (Score and Song), Short Film (Animated and Live Action), Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Visual Effects, Writing (Adapted and Original Screenplay)
Cue the music - no one cares.
Best Picture
Million Dollar Baby. Unless you think that maybe Johnny Depp would accept this award if Finding Neverland were to win?
One of their signs read: You're eating next to pony piss and crap.
I haven't seen her in 10 years!