JENNCHANTAL

College Confessions

• Freshman year I organized a fundraiser for a friend's abortion.
• When we moved into our first apartment sophomore year, Ashley and I relaxed on the stoop drinking malt liquor 40s and asked our new neighbors if they knew of any "good hip-hop parties."
• Needing a break from studying for finals (because multiple choice communication finals always required a lot of hardcore cramming), my roommates and I decided to break into the UCSB faculty club one evening and take a dip in our undies.
• I had my very first panic attack (hyperventilation and vertigo) during a "female circumcision" session in Sex Ed.
• The night before I graduated college a girl tried to beat me up in a dance club because I cut in front of her in the bathroom line to throw up. Classy. Luckily the scratches where she drew blood were not visible under my graduation gown.

Millions

It'd been over two months since I'd seen a movie in the theaters. Yes, somehow I managed to pass on Hitch, Constantine, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, and the Pacifier. Incomprehensible, I know. Anyhow, I had the movie going itch this weekend and decided to seek out an independent film so I could feel snobby. I landed on Millions.

It's the story of a boy in England who often has visions of Catholic saints. When a duffel bag filled with money literally falls from the sky and into his possession, he believes it's a sign from God and now his duty to give it all away to the poor.

Visually, it's pretty impressive. The effects really bring you into this boy's whimsical world. However, the plot was just too predictable. It felt like a bad mix between a super Christian made for tv movie and Home Alone.

So, with all good conscience, I cannot recommend that my fans run out to see this movie. And though I know there's slim pickings in the theaters these days - realize that there's a lot of great reality tv on that you could be watching instead.

Click here for the JennChantal Patented Movie Review Rating System.

Weeeeeee!

March 27, 2005

"I love you before we play cards. I love you after we play cards. But during - no."

- Jeff's grandmother to him during a wicked game of Spite and Malice

Hell on Earth

March 26, 2005

"Don't cry Madeline, community college is OK too."

- My boyfriend cracks me up

Calla Lily in Dark Grass

March 25, 2005

"Oh, you mean Mongoloid spots?"

- Sara. We were discussing baby birthmarks and when she arrived at the "medically correct" term, neither of us immediately noticed that Mongoloid might still not be the word we were looking for...

Holseys Heads-Up

Jeff and his brother Keith met each other heads-up in the final showdown on the Tour last night. Jeff took home the win, but it was definitely one of those rare instances when I would have been happy whichever way it turned out.

March 24, 2005

"It's not like groundhog day - Jesus doesn't come out and look for his shadow."

- Clint, explaining to Allison that Jesus doesn't come out of the cave every year at Easter. Oh, Christianity, how you confuse us so...