JENNCHANTAL

Heat Lamp

March 31, 2006

"I felt like I was the one decomposing."

- Ernest, after attending the symphony. Before he went to the performance he told me an awesome joke that I tried to retell this weekend and butchered it (it helps to remember more than the punchline). Do you know what happens when composers die? They decompose.

I FINALLY WON!!!!

A smile 2 years in the making...

March 30, 2006

"Life is distraction enough for Charles."

- Jeff, who ruled against allowing Charles to ever wear headphones on 4th Street again

Blue Skies At Last!

March 29, 2006

"He'd never be invited back to 4th Street."

- Tom, after Jack on Lost tried to walk away from an island poker game with all his winning mangoes without giving his opponents an opportunity to win the fruit back.

No Limit: A Search for the American Dream on the Poker Tournament Trail

Last night I got to see a special "industry preview" of an indy flick with a really long title. I had high hopes for the film for three reasons: it was (1) a documentary (2) about poker (3) for an exclusive audience. Unfortunately, it missed the mark on all three points.

1. My favorite documentaries are those that follow people who take their absurd lives seriously (American Movie, Trekkies, Tribute, Grizzly Man, Spellbound, March of the Penguins). From the description, I thought this movie wouldn't disappoint. It follows a filmmaker as she tries to raise money for her production company by entering high-stakes poker tournaments. I had visions of her selling camera equipment to finance her entry fees and ruining every relationship she's ever had to make her American Dream come true. Instead, they film this woman as she enters $500 tournaments at the Four Queens casino in downtown Las Vegas (never heard of the Four Queens casino? exactly). Not that I'm a high roller, but a $500 buy in is hardly high-stakes poker. But that's neither here nor there. My point is that her life was not absurd or even remotely interesting. Bitching about "bad luck" at 10 different low grade poker tournaments is far from entertaining.
2. So I guess that leads me into missing the mark on point number 2 - poker. In case you hadn't noticed, I play poker every once and a while. I was looking forward to the insights of the many pro players they interviewed on the road. Unfortunately, the movie was filmed from 2003-2004, in the beginning of the "poker explosion." As it turns out, poker has actually evolved a lot in two years and so the interviews seemed really outdated. As you know, the JennChantal Patented Movie Review Rating System was put into place to help you, my Dear Fans, figure out which movies you should bother seeing - I recognize that not all of my Dear Fans actually like, understand, or play poker. With that in mind, I could not - in good conscious - give this film a good rating. The mark of a good documentary (which I guess goes back to point 1 - I'm a little all over the place today) is when it can take unfamiliar or seemingly uninteresting subject matter and make it fascinating for the viewer (Word Wars, Dogtown and Z Boys, Hoop Dreams). Unfortunately, this movie will not turn the average person onto poker any more than any poorly produced GSN poker show would.
3. And finally - I was told I was going to an "industry viewing" and other than seeing poker pro (and boyfriend to Jennifer Tilly) Phil "the Unibomber" Laacke - the audience seemed to be filled with the film-maker's family members. JennChantal demands exclusivity!

For that reason - I'm giving the movie the JennChantal Patented "Find Something Better to Do" washing machine rating. And with that, I'm off to go see a "sneak preview" of Borat: The Movie. Keep your fingers crossed that the audience isn't filled with Grandma and Grandpa Baron Cohens.

Click here for the JennChantal Patented Movie Review Rating System.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

2006 has been a slow movie-going year. Failure to Launch, The Shaggy Dog, She's the Man, and Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector are all currently in the Box Office Top 10. If it weren't for Tivo, reality tv, the return of the Sopranos, and an endless supply of poker shows - I'm not sure where I could have turned for quality entertainment.

The first movie to actually get me off the couch and into the theater this year was Dave Chappelle's Block Party. I love Dave. Jeff and I know parts of his stand up routine by heart (and really, there's nothing funnier than a skinny white kid with hipster glasses retelling the story of a baby selling crack on a ghetto street corner). And after watching Chappelle's recent appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio and learning about his struggles with fame and fortune, I'm proud to say that I've never yelled out "I'm Rick James, bitch!" (though I just said "ping" for the first time, so I guess anything's possible.

But back to my point. I love Dave. I love documentaries. And, in case you hadn't noticed (here, here, here, here, here, here, and here), I'm from Hayward which means I love me some hip-hop.

Block Party follows Dave Chappelle as he plans a surprise, free concert in the middle of Bed-Stuy with some of hip-hop's greatest talents including Erykah Badu (whose afro wig flies off during a song), 'Mos Def', Jill Scott, Common, The Roots, Kanye West (who I hadn't bought into until watching this movie), and Talib Kweli. He even succeeds at reuniting the Fugees - getting Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean, and that other guy back together on stage to sing Killing Me Softly for the first time in years.

If you're looking for a well-developed storyline - you aren't going to find it here. If you hate hip-hop - you will hate this movie. If you're still yelling out "I'm Rick James, bitch!" - you're a tool.

But if you answered none of the above, then I strongly recommend you try to find a theater still playing this film and support the movie.

Click here for the JennChantal Patented Movie Review Rating System.

Checking the Ergonomic Set Up, Yo

March 28, 2006

"Single white male - likes puppets."

- Potential personals ad for someone that worked at the Sesame Street Workshop