JENNCHANTAL

October 12, 2006

"He's like Salvador Dali with a tongue."

- Al, about Eliot's boops, scoops, and borpskies language skills

October 5, 2006

"Yes, I'm typically on a runner-runner AQ draw."

- A new 4th Streeter. This probably qualifies as one of those 'you had to be there' combined with 'you have to understand poker' quotes - but since I qualify for both, I think it's hysterical. Basically, this guy we call Mad Dog (and it's such an appropriate nickname) was considering what play he should make after the last 2 cards dealt on the board came AQ. Mad Dog assumed the new player had hit a runner-runner 2 pair, when it was so obvious to the table that the guy his hit flush. Even as I'm typing this out I realize it's probably not funny to anyone else but for the one or two guys that were at my table that night and read my site...oh well, they can't all be winners!

September 28, 2006

"Puppies are to women what boobs are to men - they just can't help but look when they see them on the street."

- Profound food for thought from Alek

July 18, 2006

"Don't give me that crapcake!"

- Email forward to me by Jamie from a disgruntled ex-4th Street Player. If I'm ever on Inside the Actor's Studio - I'm going to say "crapcake" is my favorite cuss word.

June 22, 2006

"There sure are a lot of koi in this pond."

- Keith, referring to the many "fish" at the poker table

June 8, 2006

"You've got Smurf village going on over there."

- Eliot, about Susan's unconvential chip stacking method (several short stacks of poker chips strewn randomly in front of her)

June 1 - June 7, 2006

Dear Fans,

I've been a bit distracted this past week and have totally neglected my JennChantal posting duties. I haven't been diligent in committing witty/sarcastic/funny/ironic/crass comments to memory nor have I taken many photos. As a result, I'm left with a spotty account of the past week that I've decided to post all at once.

June 1, 2006
Oliver "The Rabbit Eater" said something really funny about having a sexual fantasy about a girl dressing up a Samoan girl scout (not a Samoa girl scout cookie - but a large, Polynesian woman dressed as a girl scout). The specific quote I've since forgotten...

Tournament of Champions II Trophy

June 2, 2006
Up for grabs. If you said something quote-worthy in my presence on Friday - please let me know. KEEP IN MIND - THIS IS A FREE ENTRY INTO THE CHANTY'S NOMINEE POOL.

New Ceiling

June 3, 2006
Sonny said something really funny about female horses being just like female humans and how they don't obey you out of spite to make a point. Again, the specifics have failed me.

In The Paddock
Had I actually taken a picture today, it would have been of Jeff and me inside the paddock at the Hollywood Park racetrack with the owners of the race horse, Britney Heat. Unfortunately, one of the owners said she was very superstitious and doesn't like people taking pictures inside the paddock before a race. So you'll just have to use your imagination. The horse was big, brown, and had blinders on. And there we were, just trying to stay out of her way because she could have easily killed us if she charged.

June 4, 2006
"This is a half a million dollar cardboard box!"

- Random lady, at an open house in Santa Monica. Wouldn't you know...the only quote I can remember word for word goes to a stranger?

2 Bedrooms
Had I taken a picture on Sunday, it probably would have involved an open house North of Wilshire with two bedrooms. But I didn't and I'm over that place.

June 5, 2006
Up for grabs - all applications will be accepted via comments.

It Gets Better

June 6, 2006
Up for grabs - come on people this is your opportunity to make an impact on the lives of millions of JennChantal fans!

Jasmine

June 7, 2006
"Hot dam!"

- Me, after watching a video clip of a dam being exploded in China. I crack myself up. And hell, if anyone deserves a Chanty - it's me.

In conclusion, I want to express my deepest regrets to my fans for disappointing you in such a grave manner. But I promise to be diligent in my pursuits of daily quotes and pictures from here on out and never, ever have another repeat of "Black June 1-7, 2006."

*JennChantal

May 27, 2006

"Deceptacon's not afraid of the Giant Penis."

- Brent (AKA The Storm). It's amazing the random things you hear at a poker game. This one was inspired by the t-shirts worn by two players in a hand against each other. One had on a Transformer's t-shirt and the other guy had one on that said DANGER - GIANT PENIS. I can't make this stuff up...

May 18, 2006

"I don't typically like Hasidic reggae - but Matisyahu is pretty good."

- Dino, who apparently isn't usually a fan of the popular Jewish Orthodox reggae genre

May 11, 2006

Me: "If Caroline doesn't come back from her car soon, one of you boys should go out there and make sure she's okay. This isn't a great neighborhood."
Justin: "Honestly, I don't really care if she blinds out."

- Sure, who cares about safety when betting's involved?