JENNCHANTAL

Happy Anniversary!

Today is the one month anniversary of the last JennChantal quote of the day. It wasn't an intentional leave of absence. Somehow the month just got away from me.

Here's a quick snapshot of what I've been up to the past 31 days. Feel free to make up your own quotes associated with each of these situations. Any comments posted with imagined JennChantal quotes for the following scenarios will be eligible for the May JennChantal Quote of the Month.

• Visited Hayward and witnessed a bunch of turkeys making their way up my parents' street.
• Set a wedding date - now officially less than 3 months away! And no, it's not a "shotgun wedding."
• Bought my wedding dress and allow me to be the first to say I look damn good in it.
• Came home to 7 distinct piles of shit located throughout the living room, kitchen, and bedroom. Turns out our darling little Acey had eaten a pillow and the feathers caused a bout of explosive diarreha. She's lucky she's as ute as she is...
• My 84 year old paternal grandfather passed away.  Though I wasn't able to make it to his funeral, I did particularly love hearing about his favorite joke. My grandfather is born again. Two ministers are talking. One says to the other. Hey, did you hear that Jesus came back to earth? Great news, says the other. The first minister says, not so much - he showed up in Salt Lake City. Mormon bashing at a funeral = so awesome!
• Lived the life of a singleton for two weeks as Jeff was on a Vegas business trip. I ate a lot of butter noodles* in his absence.
• Came down with a nasty virus that had me down for the count for a full week.
• Celebrated Jeff's 30th birthday with our 4th annual No Limit Texas Smoke 'Em barbeque and poker event.
• Traveled to Vegas for a weekend where I saw O, played in two $60 poker tournaments, watched the final table taping of the World Poker Tour, and stayed awake for 24 straight hours.
• Left Acey at Cagefree K9 Camp for her first overnight trip.
• Transitioned from being Product Manager of the little known Yahoo! Education to Product Manager of a new initiative for entertainment based fan sites. We launched our first beta site for Pirates of the Caribbean on 5/17 and will be launching a Harry Potter movie and video game site on 6/18.
• Had Acey wiggle out of her collar and harness at the corner of Lincoln and Pico and watched in horror as she excitedly ran across Lincoln towards oncoming traffic, naked as could be. Luckily, she ran all the way home. We bought a martingale collar the very next day.

And finally, although the title of this post refers to the month of non-posts, I would like to extend a very special Happy Anniversary shot out to DadChantal and aNANymous as tomorrow marks their 40th wedding anniversary. Jeff and I hope to be as happy as they are in 2047!

*Butter noodles recipe: boil spaghetti, drain, place in bowl, stir in a lump of butter, add Parmesan cheese and pepper to taste.

Vote for Acey

Vote for Acey in the Dog Show USA's Cutest Face contest.

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!

At long last, my beloved JT has dumped that annoying spaz Cameron Diaz!

JennChantal Turns 3

Dear Fans,

Happy New Year! Believe it or not, today marks the 3 year anniversary of your beloved JennChantal quote-based blog. In celebration of this momentous event, I've redesigned the site and added some new functionality.

• All you FireFox users will be happy to see that About link is finally working so you can study my biography for an upcoming pop quiz. You'll note that the bio hasn't actually been updated since 2004 so unless you cross reference Wikipedia, you'll probably fail the section on Current Events.
• I've included a Category tag cloud in place of that long list you once had to scroll through. One limitation is that since every day there's a From My Eyes and To My Ears post, the other tags are all weighted exactly the same, so it's not really the most effective tag cloud ever created. Details...details...
• Now more than ever you can use JennChantal.com as your personal start page as there's now a handy list of JennChantal Approved blogs and websites and even a direct feed from some of my favorites.
• JennChantal is nothing if not committed to organizational improvements. Therefore, all posts are now categorized by day and date.
• There's now a handy calendar included on the page to provide you with an easy way to catch up on all things JennChantal (especially when I post 10 days worth of content in one sitting).
• But perhaps most exciting (and I'm not just saying this because I work for Yahoo!) is the long overdue inclusion of Flickr - the best online photo management and sharing application in the world (according to Flickr). If you have a Flickr account too, please add me to your Friends list so I can stay up to date on what you're up to.

So go forth and explore the new and improved 2007 JennChantal.com model!

*JennChantal

I'm Famous...Sorta

David Nadelberg might be the face of Mortified, but my diary's opening one liner is getting it's fair share of press as well.

I DID IT!

Dear Fans,

On November 4th I embarked on a journey with my Japanese buddy Hiro Nakamura to bend the space-time continuum. What an adventure! We traveled back and forth through the month of November and ultimately landed here today, on November 28, with a spotty recollection of the month's events. Time travel can be rough on a digital camera - often wiping my memory card completely clean. And on those days that we did visit, I didn't always talk to people because I didn't want to have a Marty McFly moment where I accidentally changed the course of history.

So here's the best that I can give you with a promise to live in the moment from here on out.

September 4, 2006

Your regularly scheduled Quotes of the Day will continue after Labor Day.

An Open Letter to the Thief that Broke Into our Apartment

Dear Housebreaker,

Though we've never met, I feel like I've learned a lot about you. From the handprint you left on our window, I've discerned that you must be a statuesque person of large, sweaty palmed proportions. Certainly, your mother taught you good manners, as you were kind enough to close our window, put the screen back in its rightful place, and lock the door behind you - just like you found the place when you arrived.

I have this picture of what you must look like in my head -  a slick, George Clooney in Ocean's 11 type of con man, courageous and plucky - figuring out the best scheme to pull off the "Big Heist" in the middle of the day. Am I right? Why don't you take a picture of yourself with the 5 megapixel digital camera you stole and email me a photo or two so I can see for sure? 

You are likely a musical connoisseur - recognizing the gems you'd find on my pink mini-iPod (like a lifetime collection of Prince and Justin Timberlake). Next time you have robber friends over for a poker game, you should dock the other iPod you stole into the speakers you also swiped and play the "poker" mix Jeff and I spent hours creating that features an ecclectic mix of indy rock, hip hop, and blues. All our degenerate friends always seemed to like it, I'm sure yours will as well.

At first I thought it was weird that you left the Xbox 360 behind since you purloined several of Jeff's favorite games (I'm sure you are a fan of table tennis as much as he is), but then I realized you were probably planning on investing the $70 in change you pilfered to put an Xbox 360 on layaway! You're a smart one, Mr. Snatch 'n Grab!

Finally, I've determined that you must be a shapely cross dresser - because you decided to also take my 7 For All Mankind jeans and New Balance for Women's tennis shoes. Here's a tip - it might seem like you can't breathe when you first slide into those jeans, but do a few squats and they'll contour to your body in no time.

Anyhow, I sincerely hope you are enjoying our stuff as much as we once did. I spent 6 fun-filled years in that apartment and your break-in was just the perfect way to give us a great send off a week before we were to move into our first home. It was perhaps the most thoughtful housewarming present to date.

All the best,

*JennChantal

June 1 - June 7, 2006

Dear Fans,

I've been a bit distracted this past week and have totally neglected my JennChantal posting duties. I haven't been diligent in committing witty/sarcastic/funny/ironic/crass comments to memory nor have I taken many photos. As a result, I'm left with a spotty account of the past week that I've decided to post all at once.

June 1, 2006
Oliver "The Rabbit Eater" said something really funny about having a sexual fantasy about a girl dressing up a Samoan girl scout (not a Samoa girl scout cookie - but a large, Polynesian woman dressed as a girl scout). The specific quote I've since forgotten...

Tournament of Champions II Trophy

June 2, 2006
Up for grabs. If you said something quote-worthy in my presence on Friday - please let me know. KEEP IN MIND - THIS IS A FREE ENTRY INTO THE CHANTY'S NOMINEE POOL.

New Ceiling

June 3, 2006
Sonny said something really funny about female horses being just like female humans and how they don't obey you out of spite to make a point. Again, the specifics have failed me.

In The Paddock
Had I actually taken a picture today, it would have been of Jeff and me inside the paddock at the Hollywood Park racetrack with the owners of the race horse, Britney Heat. Unfortunately, one of the owners said she was very superstitious and doesn't like people taking pictures inside the paddock before a race. So you'll just have to use your imagination. The horse was big, brown, and had blinders on. And there we were, just trying to stay out of her way because she could have easily killed us if she charged.

June 4, 2006
"This is a half a million dollar cardboard box!"

- Random lady, at an open house in Santa Monica. Wouldn't you know...the only quote I can remember word for word goes to a stranger?

2 Bedrooms
Had I taken a picture on Sunday, it probably would have involved an open house North of Wilshire with two bedrooms. But I didn't and I'm over that place.

June 5, 2006
Up for grabs - all applications will be accepted via comments.

It Gets Better

June 6, 2006
Up for grabs - come on people this is your opportunity to make an impact on the lives of millions of JennChantal fans!

Jasmine

June 7, 2006
"Hot dam!"

- Me, after watching a video clip of a dam being exploded in China. I crack myself up. And hell, if anyone deserves a Chanty - it's me.

In conclusion, I want to express my deepest regrets to my fans for disappointing you in such a grave manner. But I promise to be diligent in my pursuits of daily quotes and pictures from here on out and never, ever have another repeat of "Black June 1-7, 2006."

*JennChantal

Happy Valentine's Day

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