JENNCHANTAL

March 9, 2007

"God knows how many trees are needed on this earth."

- Jill, recounting her religious aunt's explanation about why global warming is a farce

February 12, 2007

"It's like legalized cheating!"

- Jill, on getting your hair cut by a hot hair stylist

February 6, 2007

"Nothing says good mothering like McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

- Jill, on her sister-in-law

October 8, 2006

"I'm an old hooker - I can afford to be choosy."

- Jill's mother, as we stood on the sidewalk waiting for Tim to pick us up. So the joke became that we looked like a bunch of hookers. Cabs kept thinking she was hailing them over, so this was her response.

July 23, 2006

"We had a 70 year old guy come out and install our carpets. It took him all day. He took breaks every 15 minutes."

- Jill, on the quality of workmanship in DC

July 4, 2006

"Imagine if there were gay, homeless, children up there!"

- Jill, about her dog Tony who started growling after two gay guys started kissing next door. He also freaks out at homeless people and children.

June 30, 2006

"He's selling his car to Mini-Tim!"

- Jill, about Tim. The 17 year old kid that bought Tim's 1995 BMW looked EXACTLY like a younger version of Tim. It was as eery as it was cute.

June 24, 2006

Jill: "I'm really testing the bounds of our friendship."
Me: "Good thing you're leaving!"

- After I spent the day helping Jill with a garage sale and in advance of waking up at 4:30am to go to the Price is Right with her on Monday all before her big move in a week

June 23, 2006

"I'm not getting my blood drawn by someone holding a tacklebox."

- Jill, on why she's scared about getting legally married in Mexico

June 10, 2006

"Want me to give you the little tour?"

- Jill, at our friend's manse in Beverly Hills. There's nothing little about this place - 3 bedrooms, 1 cabana room, 7 bathrooms, 3 sitting rooms, a media room with a 110 inch projector screen, gorgeous kitchen with Viking stove and Sub-Zero fridge, pool, and a sprawling view. I've decided I'm moving in - they'll never notice...