JENNCHANTAL

October 13, 2006

"My love affair has ended.  Such a sad, lonely Friday. Impeach Bush!"

- Kristen, when her PartyPoker account was shut down because Bush signed the bill to make internet gambling illegal (keep in mind she was mainly playing free and $1 games)

September 25, 2006

"Of course, there's 'offey-doosey' for 'off.'  Roxie's not very good at this, since she likely is fluent in German and thinks I'm an idiot."

- Kristen, giving me advice for puppy training. Turns out that Kristen thought it would be cute to use fellow Havanese owner Heidi Klum's Project Runway catchphrase to train Roxie to get off of things. Little did she know Heidi Klum wasn't saying "offsey-doosey" but instead saying goodbye in her native German with "auf Wiedersehen."

September 23, 2006

"Hiking in Hawaii alone is a whole different experience after your sister forces you to watch 2 full seasons of Lost back to back."

- Kauai Kristen

September 17, 2006

"I guess black guy clients like white girl web designers."

- Kristen, my white girl web designer sister

August 18, 2006

"He's so much uglier than he should be."

- Kristen, on Gabe Kaplan

August 16, 2006

"Well, it's not like the judges (including Brody Jenner) looked like they knew the meaning, either."

- Kristen, about the newly crowned Miss Teen USA who described "integrity" as being driven.

August 8, 2006

"I'm such a connected lesbian!"

- My sister, who did date a guy with wooden clogs but who has never dated a woman, after she realized she knew the girl her lesbian friend was about to go on a date with.

July 31, 2006

"In the meantime, you'll probably get a half dozen 4SPT degenerates arrested on outstanding warrants from the fingerprinting they did."

- Kristen, on the potential aftermath of the forensic fingerprinting done at our place because of the break in

June 27, 2006

"Actually, that's how our parents typed our names on our birth certificates."

- *Kristen, on why she and I both sign our emails with an asterik
*Jennifer

June 18, 2006

"No, I'm miserable here."

- Kristen, to my Dad ON FATHER'S DAY after he asked her if she was planning to spend the night at their house. In her defense, the "hay" in Hayward was really getting to her sinuses...