JENNCHANTAL

July 18, 2006

"Don't give me that crapcake!"

- Email forward to me by Jamie from a disgruntled ex-4th Street Player. If I'm ever on Inside the Actor's Studio - I'm going to say "crapcake" is my favorite cuss word.

June 1 - June 7, 2006

Dear Fans,

I've been a bit distracted this past week and have totally neglected my JennChantal posting duties. I haven't been diligent in committing witty/sarcastic/funny/ironic/crass comments to memory nor have I taken many photos. As a result, I'm left with a spotty account of the past week that I've decided to post all at once.

June 1, 2006
Oliver "The Rabbit Eater" said something really funny about having a sexual fantasy about a girl dressing up a Samoan girl scout (not a Samoa girl scout cookie - but a large, Polynesian woman dressed as a girl scout). The specific quote I've since forgotten...

Tournament of Champions II Trophy

June 2, 2006
Up for grabs. If you said something quote-worthy in my presence on Friday - please let me know. KEEP IN MIND - THIS IS A FREE ENTRY INTO THE CHANTY'S NOMINEE POOL.

New Ceiling

June 3, 2006
Sonny said something really funny about female horses being just like female humans and how they don't obey you out of spite to make a point. Again, the specifics have failed me.

In The Paddock
Had I actually taken a picture today, it would have been of Jeff and me inside the paddock at the Hollywood Park racetrack with the owners of the race horse, Britney Heat. Unfortunately, one of the owners said she was very superstitious and doesn't like people taking pictures inside the paddock before a race. So you'll just have to use your imagination. The horse was big, brown, and had blinders on. And there we were, just trying to stay out of her way because she could have easily killed us if she charged.

June 4, 2006
"This is a half a million dollar cardboard box!"

- Random lady, at an open house in Santa Monica. Wouldn't you know...the only quote I can remember word for word goes to a stranger?

2 Bedrooms
Had I taken a picture on Sunday, it probably would have involved an open house North of Wilshire with two bedrooms. But I didn't and I'm over that place.

June 5, 2006
Up for grabs - all applications will be accepted via comments.

It Gets Better

June 6, 2006
Up for grabs - come on people this is your opportunity to make an impact on the lives of millions of JennChantal fans!

Jasmine

June 7, 2006
"Hot dam!"

- Me, after watching a video clip of a dam being exploded in China. I crack myself up. And hell, if anyone deserves a Chanty - it's me.

In conclusion, I want to express my deepest regrets to my fans for disappointing you in such a grave manner. But I promise to be diligent in my pursuits of daily quotes and pictures from here on out and never, ever have another repeat of "Black June 1-7, 2006."

*JennChantal

April 1, 2006

"I've never slept with any frat guys...I don't think."

- Random drunk girl at Josh's party

January 12, 2006

"My brother went to Hayward and his car got stolen."

- To be "JennChantaled," it is typically required that JennChantal is either the direct recipient of your musing or overhears it in public. However, on this day - January 12, 2006 - JennChantal.com is BREAKING ALL THE RULES and quoting something that someone ELSE overheard in passing! Why? Well, there's been a lot of talk about the ghettoness of my hometown of Hayward on JC and when a loyal fan overheard this comment at an LA Starbuck's, he most certainly realized that the evidence presented here has not be an over exaggeration. But more importantly, I have a really bad memory, was up until 2:30am, and can't remember a thing anyone said to me all day (except a hysterical "tubby" comment - but that would have made two back-to-back fat quotes and that just didn't seem right).

November 7, 2005

"When she really starts acting up, I just pour her a cup of gin."

- Overheard, guy in elevator talking about his infant daughter

October 21, 2005

"You know, a lot of people are surprised to learn that Jesus was born a Jew."

- Overheard. You know, a lot of people are morons...

October 15, 2005

"You need to settle down because if you don't, people won't want to come back to the restaurant. And then mommy and daddy won't make any money so they won't be able to pay for your college. You want to go to college, don't you?"

- Overheard. A babysitter was taking care of three toddlers at the S&W Country Diner while their mother, one of the waitresses, finished her shift. I rather enjoyed this guilt-ridden tactic to calm them down...

October 12, 2005

"You have to have friends."

- Overheard. One guy's reasoning as to why he doesn't participate in Fantasy Sports...