JENNCHANTAL

May 5, 2007

"I'm just going to stand up next to him and pretend I'm the Best Man."

- Rich, who helped Jeff pick out his suit for the wedding and then liked it so much he considered buying a matching one himself

March 22, 2007

"I'm gonna suck on you so hardcore."

- Rich to Keith. He meant to say 'suck OUT on you' which is poker slang for winning with the worst hand. But he had a bit of a Freudian slip and as a result we now have a new nomination for gayest moment in 4SPT history.

March 13, 2007

Rich (3/13/2007 11:52:22 AM): jeff sent me the wedding pics
Rich (3/13/2007 11:52:26 AM): you look beautiful
jennchantal (3/13/2007 11:52:30 AM): why thank you!
Rich (3/13/2007 11:52:57 AM): seriously. i thought you photoshopped your head on someone else!

- Via IM. Awesome backhanded compliment! Apparently I'm not doing myself fashion justice on poker night. And my single girl friends wonder why I never hook them up with the 30+ guys I hang out with every Thursday night...

April 27, 2006

Rich: "They say that every time you masturbate, a baby seal dies."
Will: "No wonder they're endangered."

April 7, 2006

"A fucking Mexican was trying to break into our house...no offense to anyone here."

- SAE frat boy, after he abruptly ran out of the frat house upon getting a text message from a frat brother on lookout in their crow's nest (I'm not making any of this up). The reason why this quote was so funny to me - beyond just the absurdity of the thought that anyone would try to break into a house with 80 frat guys hanging out in front - was that he apologized for saying "fucking Mexican" while looking directly at Rich. Rich is actually Filipino, but as the only non-white in a sea of frat boys, I guess it was as close to a "fucking Mexican" as they'd ever seen and worth apologizing for, just in case.

March 9, 2006

"I never learned if it was down the street or across the street, so I'm still here."

- Rich, on the particulars of slitting his wrists after he lost head's up poker play to Jeff

December 1, 2005

"Not like you'll know where that is anyhow."

- Rich, after I asked in what general direction Temecula was. He was right. The answer was southeast and that's just a little too much work for my brain to compute.